Here’s Why I Don’t Go To Church Much Anymore

walter-2.jpg Civilizer

Well, looks like we can finally close the case on the Catholic sex-abuse scandals.  After trying out all kinds of innovative ways to deal with the unfortunate prediliction of Catholic priests to, you know, fondle minors – denying that it’s happening, evicting elderly nuns from their convent to save money – it looks like the sagacious leadership over at the New York Archdiocese just struck gold, baby:  no, they’re not publishing a letter asking the Vatican to rethink their position on homosexuality so that the Church might attract normal gay people to the clergy instead of just the closeted pervo ones, and no, they’re not endorsing married or female priests so that the Church might attract more normal people overall.  Instead, they’re rolling out a “Here’s how not to get sodomized” coloring book for kids!

anti-perv-comic-book.jpg

Sorry kids, we don’t feel like implementing any structural change that might lower your risk of being raped by one of our priests, so you’re on your own!  But before you sign up to be an altar boy, please complete this coloring book…and really try to pay attention to what’s in there, ok?

4 Responses

  1. You would stop going to Church because of a coloring book?

    Look, there will always be sinners and silliness both in and outside the Church.

    Go to Church because that is where the priest celebrates the sacrifice of Calvary and where we receive the Eucharist. Our Lord selected weak men to serve him. That was true with the apostles and with their successors today.

    Is is okay to be critical and even to be angry. But no one wins if we stay away from the Church Jesus instituted for us and the sacraments of life.

    Peace!

  2. I don’t really blame you for not going to church anymore…at least the church you were going to before. “There are sexual predators lurking about. Here. Have a coloring book, it will certainly help you protect your virginity.”

    …Well, hopefully you can smack the pervert away with it. But I don’t see how a coloring book helps at all.

  3. I love how the priest in that coloring book totally looks like he’s going to do bad things to that little boy once he closes the door.

  4. “You would stop going to Church because of a coloring book?”

    Not what he said, don’t take things so horrifically literally.

    He’s inferring that this is an example of one of a myriad of reasons as to why he doesn’t go to church any more.

    “Is is okay to be critical and even to be angry. But no one wins if we stay away from the Church Jesus instituted for us and the sacraments of life.”

    Jesus did not institute the church. If you are a Christian then you believe he instituted the faith upon which the Christian church was based.

    The church is not a required part of Christianity.

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