You may recall that on the eve of the New Hampshire primary, I suggested that the only way Hillary Clinton could revive her flagging campaign was to hire a new manager – not your typical campaign manager, mind you, but a professional wrestling manager – somebody who could be her aggressive, offensive, aggrandizing mouthpiece, grabbing headlines by challenging Barack Obama without regard for decorum or propriety. I knew it was an outrageous suggestion of course – the post was really just an excuse for me to inject my love of pro wrestling into my love for politics. I never thought for a minute she’d actually do it!
Of course, she chose not to go with my suggestion, “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart, despite the fact that Hart’s management resume includes Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, King King Bundy, the Hart Foundation, Earthquake, and of course, the Immortal Hulk Hogan, and the fact that Hart is a two-time Pro Wrestling Illustrated Manager of the Year. Imagine my surprise when she chose, instead…her husband, former President and the world’s most famous fellatee (that’s not a real word, don’t bother looking it up), Bill Clinton!
The guy is a natural at this! The minute he’s set loose on Obama, he comes up with gems like calling Obama’s Iraq statements “a fairy tale” and referring to Obama as a “kid”! That kind of vituperation stands up to Jimmy Hart’s best stuff! And not only is Bill hitting all the rhetorical marks, but he’s nailed one of the most important elements of the pro wrestling manager:
The garish orange tie!